Throughout the day I stay busy and struggle to keep my sanity through dog walks, never-ending to-do lists from my wife, and Netflix instant streaming.

The other day I was so bored I decided to watch some Jersey Shore, season 2, which was recently added to the instant streaming catalog on Netflix. After a few episodes I realized we have a situation in this country. Get it, a situation? Because one of the guys on Jersey Shore calls himself the situation. Moving on…

As I was saying, after watching a few episodes I felt a strong urge to take a really hot shower and get tested for STDs, just to make sure I hadn’t caught anything from the remote. My eyes also became very sensitive to the cast-member’s T-shirts; which seemed to be white T-shirts, which had been washed with highlighters and a handful of temporary tattoos (I think the brand is Ed Hardy?).

While watching the show, and continuing my job search, I saw a headline on-line about how Snooki was being featured on the cover of Rolling Stone. The article stated that Snooki is a published, best selling, author, alongside her cast mate the Situation.

The same day I saw a headline that Bristol Palin is writing a book and has already obtained a publisher. Now, I realize the book industry is just as troubled as the record industry, but that doesn’t mean it should rush to such drastic measures to sell books. You don’t see the record industry stooping to such pathetic lows to sell records. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to see Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian putting out records anytime soon… Oh, wait, shit.

For those of you that don’t get why I’m so bothered by this, let me quickly explain—these people are jokes.

I can see how the cast of the Jersey Shore would be incredibly qualified to write a book on binge drinking, or how to kill time while waiting for your prescription to cure Chlamydia is filled. But I can’t imagine they’d have much to offer beyond these subjects.

And as for Bristol Palin, the girl who is famous for practicing unsafe sex, and getting knocked up by a self proclaimed redneck boyfriend… She claims being a working mom is really tough. Her job? At the time she made the statement, she was on the reality TV show, Dancing with the Stars. She has had other jobs, since becoming a mother. One article I read said she made $38,000 a night speaking to teens about abstinence. Not about how it doesn’t work, which she famously told Fox News, but how it does work, minus all of the statistics that it doesn’t… and you know, her baby.

How/why are these people famous? And why are they writing books? Part of the reason I get into a rage when I hear about such people getting a book deal, is because I’m scrapping by to make a living by writing about anything anyone will pay me for. But you better believe, if I ever publish a book, there is no way I’ll allow myself to get lumped in with the Jersey Shores and the Bristol Palins of the publishing world. No, I hope I’m put in a class with the likes of such great minds and best selling authors as George W. Bush, Glenn Beck, and Sarah Palin. Dare to dream.

To this day I’m confident I’m the only sports writer in the world that had to ask spectators at soccer, tennis, and volleyball games and or matches for a brief rundown of the rules. I knew the basics of each sport I was required to write about, or at least I knew what each game was called, but I didn’t know how points were scored in one sport, or what constituted being off-sides in another. And I for damn sure didn’t know the names of the different types of offenses and defenses most sports journalists know like the back of their hand.

You’re probably wondering how I got the job then… The answer is simple. It was a mountain town, so I was probably the only person with a journalism degree in the area that was willing to work for $10 an hour.

In addition to being paid such a luxurious wage in one of the most expensive parts of the country I was also allowed to write a bi-weekly column called ‘Keeping Score,’ although I quickly changed the name of the column to ‘Go Big or Go Home.’ Although it was in the sports section, oddly enough my columns rarely had anything to do with sports. My columns were often rants about random things I’d observed throughout the week or simply about things I wanted to make fun of.

Although I quickly realized being a sports writer was not for me, my column was to this day one of my favorite things to write. Not only do I miss writing a column, I miss reading columns in newspapers. It seems like with the slow, but inevitable, death of print journalism, the first ones to go are the columnists; who are in some people’s eyes, easily replaced by bloggers.

I’m seeing this trend more and more. Columnists are moved on-line, then let go and newspaper publishers think no one will miss them with the addition of five mediocre bloggers who are put their place. But now it seems bloggers aren’t even safe. Blogs aren’t even fast enough anymore for our A.D.D society, we need to know what these people are doing when they’re not blogging.

Talking with a friend recently, he tried to convince me to set up a Twitter site, saying it is a great way to network. I begrudgingly did, and updated my account here and there for a few days, but I hated every minute of it. If Twitter is an example of the “New Media,’ I want nothing to do with it.

While watching the introductory video to Twitter, the voice explaining why the site is valuable, said, “You may be an avid blogger, but sometimes your friends want to know what you did between blog posts and emails. Maybe you mowed the lawn, or… and your friends want to know about that too!”

If you are one of my friends, let me tell you, as a friend, that I do not, and will not ever, care about all of the things you do in a day. When I ask, “How was your day,” I’m being polite, and I hope you’ll do the same by saying, “It was good.” I do not want to know every last detail of your life from the time you woke up until the time you went to sleep. And I do not need text messages sent to my phone telling me when you’ve added another post, because I know when your status says, “Hunk256 is enjoying a beautiful sunset,” you’re not really enjoying a beautiful sunset. You’re sitting there typing into your laptop or phone, that’s what you’re doing. Your status updates should always say, “Hunk256 is typing again.” If you were mowing the grass and realized a life lesson that you could put into more than a paragraph, I might want to read it, but don’t you dare post, “OMG, I hate mowing! LOL.” And while we’re on the topic, chances are, if you ever type: OMG, OMFG or LOL, I probably hate you or I am at least deeply disappointed in you.

I miss words, or rather; I miss when people actually used words to convey an important, fun, or inspiring message. Twitter makes me miss blogs and blogs make me long to hold a newspaper in my hand and read a column. As I stated in my “Purpose,” we are heading down a dangerous path. Technology is moving quicker than ever before and to fight it would be pointless, but at the same time we don’t have to embrace it.

There is a middle ground… I’m taking a piece of modern technology, a blog, and using it to start writing a weekly column again. I hope you like it, but if you don’t, I really don’t care! You’re probably one of the assholes I’m ranting about. OMG JK LOL!